25 Questions To Get To Know Yourself Better


The journey of Self is never easy.

Oftentimes, you have to go through several iterations of self-exploration before you begin to crack the surface of you, your motivations, and your needs.


During one of my internet mining sessions, I came across some questionnaires designed to help one get in touch with their inner self, and teach how to draw others out in the interest of having more fulfilling and rewarding interpersonal relationships. I thought it would be great to demonstrate how these tools may be helpful by sharing 25 of those questions and the short versions of my answers. Think about how you would answer these questions yourself.

Let's get started!

1. How would your friends describe you? 

My friends would describe me as someone who is funny, observant, intelligent, and supportive, but also very layered.  I've hardly met a person who didn’t mention that on first impression, I seem reticent or aloof but once you get to know me (i.e., once I get accustomed to the energies), you learn just how cool and charming I am. Be jealous.

My friends would also say I'm pretty opinionated but very open and easy to be around.

2. If you had a chance for a “do-over” in life, what would you do differently? 

I'm not sure that I would have gone to law school.  I would have eventually pursued a Ph.D in a discipline more aligned with my interests; possibly psychology after completing an M.A. program.  Also, I would have gotten that minor in software engineering and not let my uncle talk me out of it. I knew what drove me better than I gave myself credit for back then.

3. What practical skills do you wish you had? 

I wish I were more organized in my day to day. For project-based/work-related stuff I'm good, but for daily practicals, welp. I routinely mix up bills or forget where I parked my car. It definitely was a lot easier to manage when I was younger. 

4. What do you feel most proud of? 

Completing the things I set out to do. Sometimes they don’t always work out the way I want or I don’t get started when I planned, but whenever I've set my mind to something I’ve seen it through. Some people can’t say that, especially if they’re a short attention-spanned, procrastinating, daydreamer such as myself, but I made for damn sure I could. I'm not a quitter.   

5. What is your favorite book/movie/song? 

Favorite Book: The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmerman Bradley

Why? As I kid, I was pretty obsessed with Arthurian Legend as well as Greek & Roman Mythology.  The themes in these books pretty much shaped my views on morality and ethics.  During my freshman year, I found The Mists of Avalon in my high school’s library and was enthralled.  The book details the legend of King Arthur but through the voices and machinations of the women. It was pretty explicit about the ways in which these women attained power and leverage; I loved every second of it.  

Note: This exercise actually helped me realize just how early I was for female power being successfully wielded against men. Lol! 

Favorite Movie: Ever After

Why? It’s basically the feminist version of Cinderella.  Also, the movie utilizes one of my favorite quotes in its script:

For if you suffer your people to be ill-educated, and their manners to be corrupted from their infancy, and then punish them for those crimes to which their first education disposed them, what else is to be concluded from this, but that you first make thieves and then punish them.
— Sir Thomas More

Favorite Song: All of them. 

Why? I have eclectic tastes and a lot of favorites across genres, so I can't answer this question simply or fairly. I will share that I am partial to alternative music and soulful R&B because I have found the songwriting to be quite rich. But I also listen to music in languages I don’t understand so there's that. 

6. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go and why? 

I would really love to travel to East Asia. I have always been intrigued by the history, art, food, and people; specifically in the countries of Japan, Hong Kong, and Mongolia. Visiting China & South Korea to experience their take on today’s pop culture would be an added bonus.

7. If you could only keep five possessions, what would they be? 

I would keep an iPad or laptop to stay connected to my friends & family, surf the information superhighway, utilize as my journal/writing tool/kindle, and maintain important files.

Mascara, because my lashes must pop by force by force. 

Chapstick to keep the lips moisturized.

Money, duh. 

A car to get around. 

8. What teacher in school made the most impact on you and why? 

My Afro-Lit professor Dr. H. made the most impact on me.  He gave me the possibility of another dream which regrettably, I did not pursue. At the time, I didn't understand my needs and I didn’t trust it was a real option for me. He was the first person to ever recognize the earnestness and passion I had for writing and encourage it. I never forgot it. 

9. What do you want your tombstone to say? 

I came, I saw, I conquered, and made it awkward. 

10. What piece of advice would you give to five year old you? Sixteen year old you? Twenty-one year old you? Right now? 

5 year old me: Don’t be so quiet and relax. You’re just picking up the emotions around you.  

16 year old me: It takes a lifetime for most people to recognize an issue and take steps.  You’re doing more than okay kid. 

21 year old me: Call your old professor and ask if the offer is still open. 

Right now: You're almost there. 

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.

— Lao Tzu

11. What do you love to do for, or give to others? 

At my best, I genuinely love to help and be a listening ear for people. I'm big on social harmony. I just don't like when that turns into people pushing me into roles I didn't ask for or taking advantage. 

12.  How do you spend your free time? 

I spend a lot of time information mining on the internet. Learning has always felt safe and secure to me. Before information was super accessible, I was always in the library.  My earliest memories are of going to the library right after school and staying for hours until my little brother and I could be picked up. The internet makes satisfying my curiosity a heck of a lot more convenient. I also spend a lot of time writing, thinking, and daydreaming.  

I do like going out, the ambivert in me wouldn't have it any other way, but not as much as I like sitting and talking in depth with close friends, or thinking and processing. I also spend my free time running away from humans, loving humans, traveling, watching fantasy/crime/drama tv and movies, sleeping, interior décor, brainstorming, freelancing, working on the site, and trying to take over the world etc. 

13. If you won the lottery, what would you do? 

I wouldn't tell a soul except a partner and my best friends. After paying off my student loans, I'd either secretly bequeath money or just set up blind trusts for family. I'd also fund a child's education because this is how I attended prep school. I'd like to be able to do the same for someone else but all the way through college. I'd engage in various other philanthropy, but it's very important that I donate to organizations advocating for the protection of women and children. I'd make key investments (both financial and community centered), travel the world, enjoy life, but I don’t think I’d change my dynamic too drastically. 

14. Who do you most admire in life? 

I admire anyone centered in their being and authentically pursuing what they want, especially if they are not too concerned or invested in the thoughts of those around them.  

I also admire Michelle Obama, Angela Bassett, and Keanu Reeves.

15. What are you most afraid of? 

Time and the unknown.

16. What feels like love to you? 


17. What is your strongest personal quality? 

My resilience.

18. What was your most embarrassing moment? 

In college, a girlfriend of mine and I were out in the streets being underage slay queens with our "id's." After a night of clubbing, we took a cab home but wanted to get food first before walking to the dorms. I'm not sure how this happened but I got out of the cab and tripped, landing completely on my front in the middle of the street; arms and legs spread akimbo. I was the one who busted my ass, but we were both in shock. After it wore off she started rolling.  When she finally caught her breath she asked if I was okay. I just remember turning over on my butt and saying "I don't know how this happened but I'm good." I got over the embarrassment quickly and started laughing while she helped me up. 

I have had plenty of other embarrassing but this is the one you get.

20. If you were president, what is the first thing you would do? 

Find a longterm and viable solution to address the gerrymandering of districts so a constituency has an elected official related to their community who truly gives a damn about their interests and is someone they can realistically hold accountable.

21. What age do you feel right now and why? 

I feel my age and I don't.  I feel like I've learned what I needed to but I haven't gotten to where I want to be yet.

22. If you could witness any event of the past, present, or future, what would it be? 

 The sin of Adam and Eve.  I don't buy it. Adam is lying on Eve. 

23. What is a skill you'd like to learn and why? 

I'd like to get pretty savvy at coding.  This is a tech age and if you're not first, you're last. 

24. What does a perfect day look like to you? 

A day where I'm writing, reading, dreaming, engaging with people, and making money. 

25.  What excites you? 

It could be anything that has sparked my interest but hitting a wicked groove when I'm writing is pretty darned exciting.

That's all folks! I invite you to take the time to complete the questions and share some things you learned or re-discovered about yourself down below. If you're interested in reading any other posts in the self series check the one on Self-love or Self-awareness.


theMND 💋