What No One Tells You About Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is nothing until you take responsibility for it.

Self-awareness is a scam.

Well for those who are genuinely interested in it and consider how their actions impact their lives as well as others. (This does not imply that being self-aware means succumbing to the whims and biases of those you love, no). The self-awareness I'm referring to is a proactive evolutionary processes in the interest of being authentic and mindful, not people-pleasing. However, sometimes the self-aware are manipulated by the very people in their lives they are trying to consider.  Communicating your weaknesses and acknowledging your commitment to self-awareness is honest and should be rewarding; but it can be, and is, routinely weaponized by those who aren't as candid about their faults and habits (oftentimes with them knowing exactly what they are). Because these people may be committed to not doing anything about it, they choose (whether consciously or unconsciously) to use what they know about the self-aware party to deflect and shift blame.  But I'm starting to veer into the territory of emotional intelligence which I plan to discuss another day. 

But back to how no one tells you self-awareness is sometimes the Joanne the Scammer of psychology (see Brandon Miller, @joannethescammer Instagram & Twitter). Regularly, I read mental health blogs and journals not only because I'm a wanna be psychologist, but also I believe there are many ways to growth and I'm interested in exploring them.  On my journey to rejecting mental and spiritual complacency, I've learned that continued self-awareness can be hard, messy, rough, painful, fraudulent, and not this white sage balancing chakras stuff that sounds really nice and pumpkin spicy.  

Self-awareness gives you the capacity to learn from your mistakes as well as your successes. It enables you to keep growing.

I see.

I agree that self-awareness does give a person the "capacity" to learn from their mistakes. However, capacity is just a glorified container and means nothing if not acted upon.  That's akin to saying, "Oh look, a cup full of water for my dehydrated shenanigans.  IF I drink it, I get to be healthy." But we all know one (1) cup of water is not the cure to severe dehydration; it is repeated work and effort to repair the damage it may have caused. All these new age crystal quips and quotes about how you can matcha tea your way into inner peace by being self-aware idealizes the heck out of a hard and painful process. 

But that's not going to stop me from continuing on my journey even though there's a risk of feeling scammed in the process...of the hurt attached.

One thing I will say is I believe people know themselves more than the gurus, and other individuals, give them credit for.  A lot of them either don't care, are waiting for others to do all the emotional labor, or are simply comfortable with the way things are. I mean, it's no secret that some people are content to sit and settle in their knowledge of self in the interest of maintaining status quo.  Why do the work when one can find friends, family, co-workers, partners, etc. willing to take the L? That's called entitlement and it's not just about money. In other words, that full cup of water that could quench their thirst isn't worth getting up for...for themselves.  They would rather wait for someone else to pour from their own cup into them.

See what I mean?

Self-awareness is a scam because more people than we realize know themselves, but view examining their own contribution as a greater risk. They aren't as interested in doing anything about it compared to the ones that will because they are sold on the "self" part, not so much the aware.

Still, I must admit the quote is right about the fact that being self-aware does enable growth. Self-awareness can help one examine the motivations for their own actions and take responsibility for them, whether or not they'll ultimately be used against them. 

For the proactively self-aware reading this, the awesome thing to remember about this great big world is that you aren't the only one in it.  There are a hell of a lot of people in this universe going through the very same journey.  You there with your self-aware shoes get to go out and not feel alone. You get to travel in those shoes, sometimes to those people. You might even get the chance one day to choose them.


theMND 💋